Monday, January 23, 2006
This Is What You Do When You're Bored
You do character studies. I present to you, from Kuala Lumpur International Airport:
1) Brown Man Poser, Trying Desperately Hard to be White
Features:
- Tight leather jacket, black in colour, in Malaysian weather.
- Least attractive white female possible hanging on arm.
- Pseudo whiteboy accent. Note: Subject then picks up hand phone and starts conversing with “Daddy” in rapid Hindi.
2) Controlling Age Inappropriate Female
Features:
- White halter top.
- Overly short yellow (YELLOW!) jacket.
- Locks more fried than anything served up in KFC.
- Tight jeans with enough embroidered flowers to create a small garden.
- Unattractive submissive male at side. Note: Female often takes a minute off her mirror checking to shout at said male in loud, nasal Chinese.
3) Child Who Will Grow Up Confused
Features:
- Female parent with short, spiky hair.
- Male parent with long, silky ponytail.
4) “I’m too Koole 4 Skoole” Supreme Wannabe
Features:
- Twisted staple inserted into left nostril, possibly intended to resemble nose ring?
- Spiky hair, colour of human liquid excrement.
- Baggy pants. Note: White elastic band of subject’s inner wear was visible. Conclusion: Pants were approximately four sizes too big.
- White tee, in all probability XXL, made the pants look tight.
- Green cap jauntily turned to one side. Note: Cap was from Proton Dealers.
Queen Sana at 6:38 PM
