HAHAHA, thanks for that, Lu Wee.

I seriously had like, four titles in my head for today's post, and had decided on "Owning Your Joy" but thank GOD Lu Wee reminded me that I'm NOT Dr-freaking Phil. It's like, well, you can talk to Oprah, but can you do THIS? *flips hair*.

If you haven't already noticed, I am extremely cheerful and really happy today :) Long and short of it is, BOTH the choir and the Vocal Ensemble KICKED ASS at the Singing Comp (Called the Eisteddfod, we all thought it was the Steadford....anyway), and walked away with 2 firsts. I conducted, because Mrs. McKendry...her son's not doing well at all in hospital. Keep him in your prayers, yeah, she may just be my favourite person in all of Australia.

I had to wear this ginormously huge blazer and my rump was facing the audience....sigh...I'd have LOVED to be that adjudicator. How fortunate a female to get to gaze on the Sacred Rear of Sana for a whole 8 minutes!!! Flipside? I looked like a SQUARE. I'm not....you see....the tallest person around, so that coupled with blazer-last-worn-by-child-with-Sumo-wrestler-father, made me look like....a block.

Hence the title :) SO NOW WE KNOW.

Anyway, so I got to miss half a day of school, bond with the choir girls (all brilliant kids), get to know a couple of my own classmates better, and at the end of it, walked away with two BRAND SPANKIN blue ribbons and two trophies :) But the school stole those. Damnit. I wanted to secretly stuff them down my shirt and enshrine them.

Oh well. Guess they saved me money on incense.

I realize I've been feeling all deprezzled and completely NOT ME....a couple of you know why, the rest of you don't need to. No, I'm not pregnant or on drugs, don't worry. Aussie air hasn't polluted me THAT badly (yet). But you know what? Today, I walked, nay, MARCHED, back into school, with my little blue ribbons stickin out of my pocket (OH YEAH BABY, WORK THOSE RIBBONS!), and the rest of the day belonged to me. Nothing anyone said, or did, or ANYTHING, could take that away from me, because that joy was MINE.

And that's why the title was supposed to be Owning Your Joy, because....the reason I wasn't feelin so great the last few weeks is, simply because I didn't. I could do well in school, I could have a great family, I could have a nice evening, a great conversation....but I never quite ACCEPTED, GRASPED, HELD that joy in my hands.

And today I did.

And ya know what?

I sat with a big group of people and talked and laughed just like my Bruneian self used to do, feeling no self consciousness.

I questioned a teacher in Chem class and didn't back down when he didn't think I was right. I later proved him wrong.

I joked loudly in class and people laughed.

I said hi to random people, waved, bounced, grooved, did my usual thing, but it felt NATURAL for the first time in AGES!!!

And guess what?

I talked to Jester properly :)

DAYME, it feels great to be alive today!!!

Hello, my darlings, its GOOD TO BE BACK!!!!!

Queen Sana at 7:18 PM