I am scared.

I am scared of losing myself.

I am scared of becoming what I swore never to be.

I am afraid of starting to swear badly again.

I am afraid that I've lost God.

I am afraid of becoming mediocre.

I am frightened that people won't like me as much if I let them see who I am.

I am frightened that I'll end up completely alone because I refuse to give way.

Yet I am frightened of settling, of giving in.

I am terrified of becoming like them.

I am terrified of losing my dreams.

I am terrified of starting again at the beginning....

I am fearful of losing them.

I am fearful of being forgotten.

I am fearful of everything in my world because it's not one I'm used to.


I hate to admit it, because fear is something I try to not identify with (Except spiders).....but it is becoming overwhelming.

Maybe today has just been a bad day.

Or maybe I really AM losing myself in a world I have no clue how to handle.

What I need.....is you, Lord.....what I can't find.....ironically, is one and the same.

Queen Sana at 7:29 PM