"Yes, and this couple are really interested. They say that if they can get their house sold, they're definitely going to buy this place."

That was the real estate agent telling my mom that the beautiful house down the street we're hoping to buy might JUST fall into the hands of M and W Lastname.

A vision of a snotty young couple with an inky fingered four year fills my mind. They'd stop with one child, because it would spoil their idyllic lives. They'd both be lawyers and have a nanny, with maybe a white Pomeranian puppy to keep their bored, sculpted and perfect child company.

Don't ask why.

Maybe it was the house itself, the beauty of the settings, the way the mystic passageways tunnelled around the house, the little hatch in the attic where I could see myself sitting and reading...that made me so worried, defensive and judgemental.

"Hey. If you ARE looking for a big house, why don't you check out M and W's? Its...god, it's big. I mean, that is one MASSIVE house, Dr. Kumar. If you want, I could give them a call."

My dad said yes. Internally, I screamed NO, because, good lord, we SO weren't going to make it easier for them to take MY house! NO! What's wrong with you?! And for chrissake, the street's name is DUGDALE avenue! WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO LIVE ON DUGDALE AVENUE?! I'll Dug your dale avenue!!!!!

BUUUT, this IS a business, and we were just customers, so we went along anyway.

Well, it WAS a big house.

I walked through the place with my sisters, being snotty and snide, with "No, the floors are the wrong colour." "Dude, how claustrophobic are those narrow PASSAGES?". "What is WITH all the rooms being connected, where's the privacy!". "The bathrooms are miniature, Shama would DIE!".

".....yeah, Dr. Patel's looking after her. She needs dialysis and so we're hoping for a smaller place. She just had that operation and...well....6 to 12 months, if we're...lucky."

I walked out of the house to this conversation and froze.

My upper-middle class lawyers were an elderly retired couple. The wife required dialysis because her aging kidneys just wouldn't function anymore. It was amazing how this devoted old man was willing to stand by his wife this way, and in the last 6 months of her life, try his hardest to make her life as comfortable as possible. He could have, and understandably so, gone, "But M...there isn't much time.....are you sure you want to, you know, go through all this hassle?".

I was so ashamed.

Immediately, I wanted to forget the claustrophobia and weird coloured flooring and rather small bathrooms and just buy the house....to somehow make their lives easier.

I wonder if they realize how much of an effect they've had on me. How they completely erased the selfish, stupid notions I'd been nursing. I wanted a hatch to sit and read the Vienna Prelude, he wanted to make mobility for his sick wife easier.

I was so ashamed.

But you know what? It's things like this that I live for. Moments that show you your shortcomings and help you to expand your humanity. I firmly believe that other people only exist in the world to help you become a better person. And likewise, you exist only to help other people improve.

Oh.

And just so you know, they did have a white puppy. Irony? No, my friend, that's God.

Queen Sana at 5:15 PM