Ok.

I'm finally doing it.

A post that could well get me killed because it's a mean one.

I whine about these ALL THE TIME....but here, in black and white:

10 NAMES I'D NEVER, EVER, EVER IN A MILLION YEARS NAME MY SONS UNLESS FILLED WITH SUDDEN BURSTS OF MURDEROUS, SPITEFUL HATRED

1) George (except you, Clooney my darling. Come to think of it, Clooney is a stupid name too. Like Clowny. Pity you're such a beautiful man)

2) Stanley (hello, please, please beat me up! Please?!)

3) Eugene (reminds me of that little sad kid on Hey Arnold, the unfortunate, unattractive one?)

4) Milton (Hello, I'm Milton, watch my cool trick: *blends into the wallpaper*)

5) Maurice (Lonely 86-year-old seeking female companion. Or male companion. Or companion. Any companion. Any one at all. Anyone?)

6) Boris (It's like, Hi, I'm a fat Russian immigrant.)

7) Gene (I make non-funny jokes about genetics, and my pimples map the constellations!)

8) Jorgen (What's so GREAT about my name is it looks hot, but pronounced like Yurgin!)

9) Gordon (Not so bad, but imagine the horrible nicknames: Gordon the Gormless, Gorgon?)

10) Harry (Hello, I'm a stuck up British schoolboy with a bad haircut. Call me Harry! Or maybe Harr, because I'm so cool!)


and

10 NAMES MY SONS, THE SEXIEST, HOTTEST YOUNG LADS ON THE BLOCK, MAY WELL END UP SPORTING

1) Aidan
2) Zachary
3) Julian
4) Caleb
5) Alexander
6) Aaron
7) Nicholas
8) Jordan
9) Ryan
10) Adrian

No commentary, because I was too overcome with the ultimate uber-hotness of the above fabulous monikers that I couldn't even come up with anything of my usually genius wit. So therefore, words are now spilling incoherently out of my rather large mouth, but then again, what's new?

You see, Jester?! We don't talk very often, but I'd name our kids well!! CALL ME!!!

Queen Sana at 4:41 PM