Monday, August 28, 2006
Splashing in Puddles
As she walked off the bus, the new song from the choir still in her head, she reflected on what she'd done.
Oh, she WAS mighty proud of it, and screw her absolute good girl image, it HAD to be marred SOMETIME!
Mmhmm, people, we're talking BIG here.....!
She wrote on the BATHROOM WALL!!
*tumbleweed* *crickets*
What?! IT WAS THE MOST REBELLIOUS THING SHE'D EVER DONE!
She recited the words to herself....next to a badly spelt love declaration, she'd written, in black felt, "Lucky you...mine still has no idea that when he laughs, the vital pump that keeps me alive....momentarily forgets its function."
She'd thought it was quite eloquent, especially next to "i LuV mY bOi".
While contemplating the mysteries of her complicated non-love life, she was distracted for a moment: a couple of kids splashing in puddles, on their way home.
While "haha, dumb kids" crept to her throat, something odd happened.
She was smiling.
And here's the weirdest part: It was completely unintentional.
She hadn't even realized she'd been smiling.
And it struck her: How long had it been since she'd caught herself just...enjoying? How long had it been since the glimmer of a smile, like a gold coin in the sand, had lit her face that had not been advertant and even more so, artfully placed?
She realized that it had been far too long. She also realized that she had allowed something as beautiful and pure as a smile to become a thing of falsity. How she was able to conjure one up, orchestrate one, forcing someone to think something or feel something or even say something that had been unprecendented.
She decided, right then, to allow these precious gifts to come naturally. To not smile at people as if it were protocol, but rather because the sight of a familiar, friendly face brought joy. To not laugh at jokes because it would appear foolish not to, but because they stirred within her heart an uproarious mirth.
And then she decided to come home and blog about it, just in case someone who needed to remember how to laugh, happened to chance across it.
Oh, she WAS mighty proud of it, and screw her absolute good girl image, it HAD to be marred SOMETIME!
Mmhmm, people, we're talking BIG here.....!
She wrote on the BATHROOM WALL!!
*tumbleweed* *crickets*
What?! IT WAS THE MOST REBELLIOUS THING SHE'D EVER DONE!
She recited the words to herself....next to a badly spelt love declaration, she'd written, in black felt, "Lucky you...mine still has no idea that when he laughs, the vital pump that keeps me alive....momentarily forgets its function."
She'd thought it was quite eloquent, especially next to "i LuV mY bOi".
While contemplating the mysteries of her complicated non-love life, she was distracted for a moment: a couple of kids splashing in puddles, on their way home.
While "haha, dumb kids" crept to her throat, something odd happened.
She was smiling.
And here's the weirdest part: It was completely unintentional.
She hadn't even realized she'd been smiling.
And it struck her: How long had it been since she'd caught herself just...enjoying? How long had it been since the glimmer of a smile, like a gold coin in the sand, had lit her face that had not been advertant and even more so, artfully placed?
She realized that it had been far too long. She also realized that she had allowed something as beautiful and pure as a smile to become a thing of falsity. How she was able to conjure one up, orchestrate one, forcing someone to think something or feel something or even say something that had been unprecendented.
She decided, right then, to allow these precious gifts to come naturally. To not smile at people as if it were protocol, but rather because the sight of a familiar, friendly face brought joy. To not laugh at jokes because it would appear foolish not to, but because they stirred within her heart an uproarious mirth.
And then she decided to come home and blog about it, just in case someone who needed to remember how to laugh, happened to chance across it.
Queen Sana at 4:24 PM
