I'm not INEXPERIENCED.

I'm just VERY mature, AND happen to REALIZE that STUPID EXPERIENCES that serve ABSOLUTELY NO PURPOSE and can honestly WAIT til I'm OLD ENOUGH, and not a 12 year old trying on my mommy's LIPSTICK, to experience them PROPERLY.

What did you say?

WHAT did you say??

"Don't say you can match those experiences, because you have no idea what I've felt!"

With some profanity in there somewhere, right? Yeah, I remember it like that, too. So much for helping you. You know what, brother? I may not "know" about things that you call physical experience....

But you have ABSOLUTELY no effing clue how I feel, either. Your emotions are so goddamn GENERIC and COOKIE CUTTER. OOoh, my girlfriend dumped me after she kissed me so I'm totally gonna go die and that OTHER girl that I like NOW tells me she can't love me because she likes this other guy who's SIMILARLY trapped in his OWN love triangle and EVERYONE HATES ME AND I SHOULD JUST GO KILL MYSELF!

Pah.

Wanna know what I think about, jackass??

I worry about my FUTURE, my EDUCATION, my PROSPECTS, things that MATTER. Things that CAN'T wait til this year is over. I'm still going to get married and depurify myself (I really couldn't print the more common term for this....it still makes me uncomfy), and have kids and a life and a career.

SO DON'T YOU EFFING TREAT ME LIKE I'M SOME GODDAMN CHILD STANDING ON A BOX PRETENDING TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

Because I NEVER claim to, and I've ALWAYS given you the "Ok, if you want me to not be blunt, please tell me, because it's all I know how to be", just like I tell EVERYONE else I talk to (Which, by the way, is a surPRISINGLY high number of people, I'll have your ass know!)

If YOU don't value that in me, go find someone who'll blow sunshine up your ass, because I WON'T.

I'm actually not this angry anymore, because I've done the whole shrinkanalystic thing I love so much and realized that our problems ALWAYS seem so big to us. I wanna beat some guy in my class, and right now I'm depressed because I can't. I know your problems seem really big right now, but I stick by what I told you: take time to heal yourself, because if ALL your happiness rests in someone ELSE'S frail hands....

How can you ever be happy?

But the REAL reason I'm so angry is because I think you struck a nerve.

You hit me in the ONE spot I'm vulnerable: the doubt that eats me at times, that I'm missing out on something because I'm such a staunch non-settler. I'm filled with hope and optimism and independent pride, you know, the whole "I'm too damn smackfly for ANY man!!!" thing.....but deep down, I wonder if 1) It really IS possible for me to end up alone and unhappy, and 2) I've somehow missed out on some vital part of life. Some secret club that everyone's a part of but me.

Please tell me.....because I will MAKE my arguments to you and I will believe them, because I've spent ages crafting them. I also happen to personally believe everything I say.

But hiding in me is this small fear, that fear that I may be just what you imply....a kid who doesn't REALLY know anything at all and pretends to be everyone's fecking cousellor....

When she really doesn't know any better.

Queen Sana at 8:40 PM