Ok, so that's just a headline.

You know what? For the last, at least 5, most likely 7 years, I've been obsessed with my weight. Obsessed with calories and counting and weight loss and exercise.

Well, recently, I did the whole LOVE YOURSELF AND FREE YOURSELF thing. ANYONE who's known me for more than 6 minutes knows how much I used to hate my weight at one point, with diets and gyms and everything. But you know what I'm realizing NOW?

That being SO proud of being NORMAL now has possibly stolen my conscience. Much as I HATED being freakchild-who-hates-her-mirror-image, I'm not thrilled with this new me either: I'm HAPPIER about my image and I really do believe that I can DO this, and I'm thrilled that I've so called "Freed" myself....but I've begun to slide.

And so, for the benefit of me and every other female who has at one point disliked her body, I will say this now: I WILL NOT BECOME THAT GIRL. I will NOT become that fat girl who goes, "Oh, I'm only a kilo heavier than I was last month, which is only 3 kilos heavier than I was the month before, which is only 5 kilos heavier than what I was six months ago." Because NOBODY wants to be that girl. No matter HOW much we talk of loving ourselves....

NOTHING justifies a lack of conscience!!! Not prior unhealthy habits, not emotional issues, nothing.

So here I print in black and white, I'm going to lose these extra kilos the HEALTHY way, but I'm CERTAINLY not going to make allowances for myself. I can't afford to, because what people NEED is a combination of the two extremes: the SELF-LOVE to not resort to throwing up your food or starving yourself, and the DISCIPLINE of an anorexic.

And AMEN to that, I hereby dub thee Fat Girl With Soul!!!!!

Queen Sana at 5:06 PM