1) I look like a mixture of Hanuman, a camel, and the long lost link between man and ape because the surgical scar hasn't healed yet,

2) I'm enormously behind on English homework,

3) I'm accepting that Daz IS smarter than me,

4) Rachel's leaving really soon,

5) I might have scared off a good friend by telling her all that was wrong with me,

6) I realize that everything I TOLD her was in fact true, and that I CAN in fact be an awful person,

7) I'm not actually following my study sked, and I'm telling myself it's because Rachel's here, but I'm ACTUALLY scared that I'm just lazy and this isn't going to work for me,

8) Aforementioned surgical stitches might be bleeding and I'm TERRIFIED I might have broken one,

But ya know what?

I'm happier than I've EVER been!!!!! I don't know what this is, but I'm suddenly enveloped with an enormous sense of contentment and, aw hell, PEACE!!!!!

I don't even know WHY I've been so deprezzled-like for the last little while! Maybe it took me awhile to adjust to leaving Brunei, maybe I was scared of non-acceptance, maybe I was scared of losing myself, but whatever it was, it's all...done! Gone! Finished!!!

And thank the Lord, NOW I can go back and be this person again:

(From what Stephen Chin wrote on my camp folder two and a half years ago,)

"I love the joy that you got!"

Yes, Stephen, you did. And you know what? I think I do too!!!!!

Queen Sana at 12:33 PM