I got my Trial report back today.

For the most part, I was pretty happy. I got above 80's in everything (even Horror Math, thank you Scaling!), and a 90 in chemmy chem.

And as for my UMAT results, they were good. Not WONDERFUL, OH MY GOD THAT GIRL'S A GENIUS, but good. 81st percentile in the state, is pretty good in my books.

And that's when it hit me, REALLY hit me.

People have been telling me all my life that I'm very smart, intelligent, brilliant, prodigy, etc etc etc, and I lapped it right up.

BUT HERE'S THE THING.

I'm actually not.

I'm an above average intelligent girl, who has to work really hard to push from an 85 to a 92, as opposed to the genius freakchild that people have always thought I was, the one who gets 95s without breaking a sweat.

But do you know the WEIRDEST thing ever?

The fact that, hey, I'm OK. I'm really perfectly and totally OK with that. There used to be a time where it would not only bother me, but maybe even make me cry that I wasn't simply AWESOME, FANTASTIC, GENIUS SUPREME.

Maybe this country really HAS made me grow. Thank God for that. The stuffy little overperfectionistic, hypercompetitive freak wouldn't survive Med school.

But perhaps this slightly dumber but harder-working kid who can accept her own shortcomings, will.

Queen Sana at 7:30 PM