Reading Fel's angry post dated the 19th of September made me think really hard about Brunei.

You know what?

Brunei is a place I retreat to in my head....when I feel lonely or pissed off or unhappy or just homesick, I think back to that wonderful, green, tax-free utopia, where food and jewellery are cheap and friends are plentiful.

Brunei is my mind's paradise, and I can't WAIT to get back there in _____________ (I'M STILL NOT TELLING YOU WHEN!).

Or can I?

Sigh.

Reading Fel's post reminded me of something I hadn't thought about in a LONG time, and do you know what that is?

That the country I love, adore, grew up in and that shaped so much of my personality....

IS FULL OF ASSHOLES.

I'm NOT kidding. Much as I've fooled myself into believing it was the happiest place on Earth, it WASN'T. People hoot at you on the street if you're fat or thin, or pretty or ugly, they don't smile at you at all, if you smile at THEM you're a suspicious character, they're racist and rude and obnoxious....

And this is the general populace! YES, there are WONDERFUL people, and I met so many of them, people I'll always keep in contact with, people who made life worth living, people who'll be at my wedding.

But truly and honestly, for the most part?! BRUNEI IS FULL OF GODDAMNED RACIST PROFILING PERVY ASSHOLES!!!

And I'm disillusioned and unhappy about it. The first thing that struck me about Aussie is that people are just nice. Maybe it's superficial nice, maybe they're ALL assholes underneath. But they smile at you, and ask how your day went, and if you accidentally knock something down in an aisle in the supermarket, it's OK lav, people make mistakes, we'll clean that up in a jiffy (as opposed to, "Haiiyaah, my job SO impotan wannn, why dis pipol wasting my TIIME! EEEEEH!!")

Seriously?

I think I'm just scared that this visit will completely rip the image of my beautiful home from my mind.

I've invested FAR too much time and energy in that image for it to disappoint me now.

Queen Sana at 1:26 PM