Life, being that she IS one giant meanfaced skank with a cruel, horrid sense of humour, dictates that:

1) The hot guy living down the street WILL choose the exact moment you're walking to the recycle bin on the front lawn in a Grandma bun, a RED nightie with GREEN flowers on it and blue fuzzy socks to (insert verb here that results in him SEEING you in said getup),

as opposed to

when, say, you're coming back from Church in a pretty, pretty kurta with lovely matching accessories and, with fro looking resplendent in it's perfect-waved glory.

2) The house is FULL of chocolate of all sorts, as per It's-MY-HSC-And-I'll-Binge-If-I-Want-To protocol,

but

when the tiny trick-or-treater with the enormous smile and big eyes comes to your door, you find you've got NOTHING that's in it's own little individually wrapped package, making you the horrible mean lady who killed a kid's spirit.

3) The chemistry paper WILL ask you four questions from the TWO dot points you haven't covered,

and

nothing on the other 50 you spent months hand writing and researching, not to mention the FOUR HOURS YOU SPENT on the goddamn table comparing photovoltaic cells to fuel cells, button cells and Vanadium redox cells.

4) You'll still get a higher mark for Chemistry, whose teacher screwed you over by not teaching you anything and showing up for class 10 minutes late every time (that is, if she didn't SKIP class to watch football, her daughter's many, many sporting events or House)

than Physics, for which

the teacher has covered every single syllabus point in meticulous detail, giving you stacks of notes and resources and pracs and problem sheets that make damn well CERTAIN you know the difference between an n-type and a p-type semiconductor. Not to mention exactly HOW these semiconductors combine with principles of photoelectricity to give you the SOLAR CELL, the DIODE and the PHOTOCELL, depending on which types of semiconductor are used.

5) The hot water, after faithfully spewing you with scalding water at RANDOM all through the boiling summer,

will

break down the second a) the winter solstice rears its ugly head, b) you have a nasty backache or c) a bad exam, after which all you want to do is take a hot shower. Extra points if it's all three.


Oh, Life! If only you weren't such a malefeasant, mortifying pile of malevolent meanness, I think we'd get along just fine, and here's why:

In the TRUE spirit of irony, DESPITE your (apparent) disdain for me, I still think you're pretty damn funny :D

Queen Sana at 10:13 AM