Wednesday, April 30, 2008
It May Break My Heart, But I'm Going To Be Me.
And this, love, for your benefit, is who I am.
- I think about my future a lot. I know I'm going to be married before I'm 26 and that I want four kids.
- I don't wear dresses and t-shirts because I've never felt confident enough about my figure to do so, not because I'm that moralistic.
- I make up acronyms on the spot to make people feel foolish WTDU them. (Ummm when they like don't understand, stupid.)
- I love talking to people more than anything in the world, and if it comes off as needy, well then I guess I AM needy.
- I'm actually not, not at all. I can survive on my own for enormously long periods of time, just retreating into myself and contemplating.
- I'm terrified of the following things, in order of potency: 1) Getting fat. 2) Ending up alone. 3) People not liking me. 4) Not being good enough.
- I am extremely attached to both old people and children, and seeing either of them in hardship can bother me for days.
- I love to dance, and I am a passionate dirty dancer. I think it's my inner skank trying to break free of the kurtas.
- I'm still too innocent to mean anything slutty or suggestive by it though.
- I have extremely high standards but I don't feel confident enough for them.
- It doesn't take me long to fall totally in like because I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for The One.
- Paradoxically, I don't BELIEVE in The One: I believe in The One you eventually feel OK settling for.
- I will quite happily eat things off the floor, if there's no obvious dirt on them. If there is, I will just as happily brush it off and maybe rinse it, and I'm good to go.
- My arms are my weakest area, so if you see me in a t-shirt or even more daringly, a sleeveless top, please come up to me and give me a hug: odds are, I need it.
- I come off as desperately try hard and unfunny for the first couple of months, because I'm trying very hard to not hurt you: the brand of humour I reserve for my friends is quick, sharp, cutting and always hilarious. People who never get to know me will ALWAYS know me as unfunny and try hard.
- I once loved my religion. I started disliking it because of its practitioners.
- I was once convinced I'd love said religion again. I'm now not so sure.
- If you tell me your name, I will remember it.
- I think the letters J, A, X and Z are unbelievably sexy.
- I think you'd look stupid bald, but I'm TERRIFIED of saying it because it's for a good cause. But I am a selfish ho.
- I am extremely passive aggressive: if I don't like you, you WON'T KNOW: I'll be subtly mean but then openly nice, and you won't know what to believe.
- I have much more pride than I know what to do with.
- My childlike wonder is beginning to expire and it makes me so very unhappy.
- And here's the weirdest thing: even though I am THE vaguest and THE least "sure" and the most suspicious and the least heart-trusting person in the world....................
.........................I'm somehow certain I'll end up with you in some capacity. Heads up, dumbass! :)
- (I'm abrasive and aggressive when I'm smitten: it's me trying to maintain my acerbic hilarity in the face of infatuation, she that makes a babbling idiot out of the best of us).
- I think about my future a lot. I know I'm going to be married before I'm 26 and that I want four kids.
- I don't wear dresses and t-shirts because I've never felt confident enough about my figure to do so, not because I'm that moralistic.
- I make up acronyms on the spot to make people feel foolish WTDU them. (Ummm when they like don't understand, stupid.)
- I love talking to people more than anything in the world, and if it comes off as needy, well then I guess I AM needy.
- I'm actually not, not at all. I can survive on my own for enormously long periods of time, just retreating into myself and contemplating.
- I'm terrified of the following things, in order of potency: 1) Getting fat. 2) Ending up alone. 3) People not liking me. 4) Not being good enough.
- I am extremely attached to both old people and children, and seeing either of them in hardship can bother me for days.
- I love to dance, and I am a passionate dirty dancer. I think it's my inner skank trying to break free of the kurtas.
- I'm still too innocent to mean anything slutty or suggestive by it though.
- I have extremely high standards but I don't feel confident enough for them.
- It doesn't take me long to fall totally in like because I'm ALWAYS on the lookout for The One.
- Paradoxically, I don't BELIEVE in The One: I believe in The One you eventually feel OK settling for.
- I will quite happily eat things off the floor, if there's no obvious dirt on them. If there is, I will just as happily brush it off and maybe rinse it, and I'm good to go.
- My arms are my weakest area, so if you see me in a t-shirt or even more daringly, a sleeveless top, please come up to me and give me a hug: odds are, I need it.
- I come off as desperately try hard and unfunny for the first couple of months, because I'm trying very hard to not hurt you: the brand of humour I reserve for my friends is quick, sharp, cutting and always hilarious. People who never get to know me will ALWAYS know me as unfunny and try hard.
- I once loved my religion. I started disliking it because of its practitioners.
- I was once convinced I'd love said religion again. I'm now not so sure.
- If you tell me your name, I will remember it.
- I think the letters J, A, X and Z are unbelievably sexy.
- I think you'd look stupid bald, but I'm TERRIFIED of saying it because it's for a good cause. But I am a selfish ho.
- I am extremely passive aggressive: if I don't like you, you WON'T KNOW: I'll be subtly mean but then openly nice, and you won't know what to believe.
- I have much more pride than I know what to do with.
- My childlike wonder is beginning to expire and it makes me so very unhappy.
- And here's the weirdest thing: even though I am THE vaguest and THE least "sure" and the most suspicious and the least heart-trusting person in the world....................
.........................I'm somehow certain I'll end up with you in some capacity. Heads up, dumbass! :)
- (I'm abrasive and aggressive when I'm smitten: it's me trying to maintain my acerbic hilarity in the face of infatuation, she that makes a babbling idiot out of the best of us).
Queen Sana at 11:04 PM
